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Mod Competition

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Mod Competition

Post by *Smoke* on 03/06/13, 09:04 am

Me and Mini~ will be having an RPing competition, and this is where I will be posting my tries. I am going to make a few different ones and test them out before submitting them as my actual answer. And Megarin, you're the judge. Your basically reading our stories and seeing which one is better.

#1~ Revenge
Freckleheart blinked open his round brown eyes, catching glimpses of the beautiful sun from the entrance to the warrior’s den. He lifted himself up from the moss that the apprentices had collected for the white and orange speckled tom. He had just been turned into a warrior. It had just been the night before that all of ThunderClan had called out his new name. He was no longer Frecklepaw, the anxious and twitchy kit-looking apprentice; He was Freckleheart, the tom who cared for every cat’s well-being before his own.
The tom pushed his back up, feeling a few bones pop from stretching after such a long sleep. When he was done moving his sore muscles, he left the warm den and headed out into the middle of the camp. It was a bit past sunhigh now but that made sense since he’d done his warrior vigil the night before. Another cat was made a warrior the same time as him. Her name was Goldensong. Freckleheart wouldn’t admit it, but he was having feelings develop for the beautiful she-cat.
Goldensong was a bright yellow pelted she-cat with a soft blue hue for eyes. She was of average height while Freckleheart was a bit on the long and tall side. Goldensong’s fur was short but her tail was fluffy. In his eyes, she was the most beautiful she-cat in the universe.
Snapping back from his thoughts, Freckleheart saw the camp in full-motion. Not very far in front of him was the small fresh-kill pile. It was the beginning of Newleaf, so prey wasn’t expected to be at it’s highest peak.
“Hey, there you are Freckleheart!” A voice from behind the new warrior called out. He turned around and spotted Gorseleaf, his best friend ever since he was a kit. Gorseleaf was a small-built tom with a blue-grey pelt and green eyes. He’d been made a warrior about 7 suns before Freckleheart since he’d fought off a ShadowClan patrol. The strains between his clan and the more dark one hadn’t been well recently, so the attack didn’t surprise most of them. ShadowClan was greedy and idiotic; the first cat to side with them would be the first to weaken.
“Hello Gorseleaf. How is Dawnfur?” Freckleheart asked in a curious tone. Dawnfur was his best friend’s sister, and both of them were highly-protective of each other.
“I’m fine, thanks for asking,” Said a she-cat Freckleheart hadn’t realized was there. The brown and white tom’s head snapped to his right where Gorseleaf wasn’t flanking him and saw Dawnfur there with a smirk plastered on her yellow-orange fur. Freckleheart rolled his eyes and shouldered into her slightly in greeting. They were pretty much siblings just as he and Gorseleaf were basically brothers now.
The trio made their way over to the deputy, Blueflight. The large blue-grey tom looked over at them with a smile on his muzzle as they told him they were going to go out hunting. Before they reached the exit though, Goldensong trodded up to them and asked, “Mind if I join you three?”
“S-sure,” Freckleheart managed to get out before they continued out of the exit and made it into the beautiful forest ThunderClan called home. Scents flooded the tom’s nose and he breathed it all in, savoring the first smells he would get as a warrior. He wanted to remember this moment forever; the first time hunting as a warrior had a different feel to it from when you hunted as an apprentice.
Dawnfur and Gorseleaf went off toward the Mooncave, with the latter cat smirking and struggling to keep his laughs from escaping. Freckleheart gave his friend a glare; Gorseleaf knew his feelings toward Goldensong and had almost told her on numerous occasions. Most of them were recent as well.
The two cats went toward the edge of their territory, awkwardness taking up the air space. They both tried to start a conversation but failed epically every time. Before they reached the Thunderpath that separated ShadowClan and ThunderClan, Goldensong moved in front of Freckleheart.
The brown and white tom’s eyes slightly narrowed, not in anger, but rather worry. “Are you alright Goldensong?” The way her name flowed off his tongue was like magic, and he noticed it was the first time he had ever called her that. The previously mention she-cat slightly smiled before huffing out a breath.
“Freckleheart, I have something to tell you,” The golden she-cat said, barely audible since she was slightly speaking above a whisper. The brown and white tom stepped closer to Goldensong, concern in his eyes. “Is something wrong?” What showed in his eyes showed in his voice as well.
“I-i,” Goldensong seemed to be lost when it came to figuring out what she wanted to say.
“I, what?” Freckleheart softly prodded.
“I love you, Freckleheart,” The tom’s eyes slightly widened and when he didn’t reply reply for a few seconds Goldensong continued.
“I love the way you care about every, the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you seem to understand things others can’t. I’ve loved you ever since I first laid my eye’s on you,” Goldensong’s melodic voice filled Freckleheart’s ears.
When the tom only smiled, Goldensong had a defeated look before starting to say, “I’m sorry.” But Freckleheart stopped her mid sentence by stating, “I love you too, Goldensong.”
Goldensong showed pure happiness in her eyes, just as Freckleheart. A new feeling was there though.
Something interrupted their joy, though. Chuckling rang out from behind the tom and he whirled around to see a ShadowClan warrior. Not just any warrior. Darkstar. The leader of the forsaken clan.
“What are you doing here?!” Freckleheart was enraged. This was ThunderClan territory and the leader obviously had no intentions of doing something kind.
“He’s here for me,” Goldensong said from behind the brown and white tom. Freckleheart’s chest squeezed as he glanced at the golden she-cat. She had a cruel smirk on and the tom’s heart sank.
Freckleheart shook his head, mouthing no over and over again. The golden she-cat walked past him and joined Darkstar at his side.
“Come on love, let’s go back to camp,” Goldensong whispered into Darkstar’s ear. His tail flicked in annoyance as he replied that he wasn’t done here. The traitor’s eyes became lightly misted with confusion as the ShadowClan leader padded up to the emotionally broken tom. He was still in denial of the sudden switch Goldensong had left.
Darkstar smirked as he saw Freckleheart’s face. “What do you want with me you son of a b*tch?!” The brown and white tom snarled. Goldensong’s face went from light confusion to astonishment. The ThunderClan warrior had never cussed in his life, and now here he was, doing it to a leader!
The ShadowClanner’s eyes grew slightly dark as he got closer to Freckleheart until their muzzles were barely a few inches apart. “To rip you limb from limb.”
Freckleheart stared at the leader in horror as Darkstar pulled back his paw, thrusting it forward and clawing Freckleheart’s face. One of the claws had struck left eye and he shrieked out in pain as he was knocked to the side. He heard a distant female scream and running paws going away from him. He quickly managed to get up and saw Darkstar sigh.
“Guess I’m gonna have to kill you quickly before that wench gets all of ThunderClan here,” Darkstar said, chuckling evilly.
Freckleheart took a few steps back before getting a set expression on his half-destroyed face. The tom leapt up and took the leader by surprise, pushing Darkstar to the ground from the white and brown cat tackling him. The two locked into battle and both got in a few good blows.
Just when he thought he was winning, Freckleheart heard shouts in the distance and glanced up, since he was above Darkstar who was still underneath him. He saw his leader come into view but the sight didn’t last very long. The ShadowClanner growled and pushed the slightly smaller tom off of him and switched the places. The black tom slashed his claws against his opponents throat and gurgling filled the small hollow the fight had led them to. All the cats there stared on with terror written across their face. With one last glance and breath, Freckleheart turned his head to see Goldensong. “Y-you caused this...”




It had been a day since Goldensong had seen Freckleheart’s life taken. His 3 words had taken a toll on the beautiful she-cat. For the first time in 24 hours, she fell asleep. She was stuck in the prisoner’s corner of ThunderClan camp since she was now considered a rogue, but she didn’t care. She was practically lifeless now.
As her mind succumbed to her dreamworld, a nightmare came to destroy the peace created in her brain. Goldensong looked up from her moss bed, sort of in a half-point world. In front of her was Freckleheart. The golden she-cat smiled and started her way to him, but the look on the tom’s face made her stop. He looked... evil. His soft auburn eyes were now a pitch blank and there were no stars in his fur like StarClan cats usually had.
“Freckleheart, a-are you alright?” Goldensong asked, nervousness seeping into her voice.
Instead of answering normally, Freckleheart just glared at the she-cat as his voice seemed to be taking on a life of it’s own.
“I asked you that only yesterday. But you knew that. You also knew I had feelings for you. Now I don’t. The only thing I can possibly think of is hurting you,” His voice said, his mouth not moving.
“Freckleheart, y-you’re scaring me.”
“Good. You wanna know something you don’t?”
“U-umm....”
“I thought so. StarClan invited me to join their ranks, but I said no. I am not finished here. I will make you and your lover pay. I will find a way to kill you all. The ones who were too late to save me. The ones who strung me along. THE ONES WHO BETRAYED ME!” His voice yelled the last part, his half-destroyed face going into a snarl.
Pain exploded in Goldensong’s mind as she awoke, screaming and panting.
Gorseleaf, who was on gaurd, glared at her. “Shut up traitor. No one cares about you, so don’t even try.”
“No, you don’t understand! Freckleheart’s after me! He’s evil!” Goldensong pleaded.

“Makes sense. He’s always loved getting revenge. Guess he’s found a friend in kharma, while you’ve found an enemy.”
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by *Smoke* on 03/06/13, 09:20 am

Ugh, I did that when I was low on muse x-x it SUCKS.
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by Guest on 03/06/13, 09:39 am

Thats an awesome Story Smoke! Btw check the Im'a Spammer (posted big news!)

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Re: Mod Competition

Post by *Smoke* on 03/06/13, 10:08 am

Awesome! Congrats on finishing the website.
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by megarin on 03/06/13, 10:48 am

Aw so you guys just nominated me as a judge? That's so kind of you considering I love to read super long stories.
-.-
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by Mini~ on 03/06/13, 05:48 pm

Imma beat you Smoke :3 Imma beat you


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Re: Mod Competition

Post by *Smoke* on 03/06/13, 08:20 pm

I wrote that at 3 in the morning. Cut me some slack x-x
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by Mini~ on 03/06/13, 08:48 pm

xD I'm not ridiculing your post, I'm just stating that I'm going to win
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by *Smoke* on 03/06/13, 09:21 pm

And I'm stating that I can do much better than this post.... as well as you. xD
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by Guest on 03/06/13, 11:04 pm

Thanks Smoke!

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Re: Mod Competition

Post by Mini~ on 03/06/13, 11:33 pm

We'll see about that ;3

I got my chicken patties, my water, my doctor who, and my computer. LETS DO THIS
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by *Smoke* on 03/06/13, 11:55 pm

XD Lmao. Doctor who. Niiice.
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by Mini~ on 04/06/13, 12:27 am

Aw :< My sister claimed the computer and she always takes forever. Sigh, another time
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by *Smoke* on 04/06/13, 12:30 am

Hey, I sent you 6 pms on the pics for the HPs
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by megarin on 06/06/13, 12:31 pm

Do I have to read all of this? D:
You guys kill me. Seriously. But I guess I'll do it. But only because you guys are annoying.
Is that even a good reason? I don't know anymore!
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by *Smoke* on 06/06/13, 12:32 pm

Don't read it. I'm not using that one, lol xD
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by Mini~ on 20/06/13, 08:42 am

BOUT TIME I DID THIS, SO LETS DO IT; IPAD STYLE!!!!

Ahem;

---
The gentle breeze caressed the leaves of the trees, whispering through the branches; ruffling the fields of wild flowers and the long tall grass.  It was evening, the fiery sun dipping into the ocean and reflecting soft pastel colors on the sky line; and the dark, star dotted space chasing it to take it's place in the night sky.

In a world of animals being born, dying, and sharing memorable moment at that exact time and day; one aged tom laid out in a shallow cave, small huffed breaths escaping his grayed maw as his middle heaved slightly.  This was the end, wasn't it?  The end of the rope, the end of his time?  The snipping of his lifeline?  Sad, but not quite.  He had lived his life; he had seen things, did things, and felt things.  He was satisfied, and only sad that he was leaving the world alone.

They say your live flashes before your eyes when your about to die, that you remember everything that happened while you lived.  But for him, it was like replaying an old movie; remembering peacefully the records of his time.  And like everyone, it started when you were born; when you took your first breath and felt the cold air embrace your new body.

He remembered that time, when he was just a kitten; clambering out of his mother's makeshift nest for the first time.  And seeing his siblings, uncurling one by one; joining him in the world of adventures and excitement.  They didn't know what was to come, all the bad things and happy things; all the things that would change them, and all the things to worry about.  They were carefree, little feathers on the breeze who played all day and had not a care in the world other than who loved their parents more.  Ignorance was blissful indeed, for what to come was much more than their little minds could handle.

He remembered that day, they were growing older; big enough to now go out of the cave they were born in and finally explore the world!  Their mother told them they would be leaving, and that they would have tons of fun, and see so many things!  Excitement bubbled within each kit as they happily stumbled after their proud parents.  

Their first task, racing across a hard, black stretch of rock; one that burned their tender pads when stood on too long.  They began, waiting for those terrifying beasts to race off before they did.  Each kitten crossed safely, but one little she-kit who was startled and froze as a beast sped towards her; ready to pounce.  Mother flung herself to save her little kitten, but was only killed along with her daughter.  He could remember his dad's cries and pleads; as he cradled his mate's body and sobbed.

That was a life changing day for broken family, their father was never quite the same.  He was strange, and it resulted in his suicide, leaving the litter to fend for themselves alone.  He was the oldest, so naturally he tried to take care of his siblings...But sadly failed.  They died off, one by one; until he was the only one left.

He remembered the day the humans found him, and took him to a strange place; filled with many odd things.  They loved him, and he put up with it in return.  But they obviously didn't love him enough to take the now young adult to their new home, and so they left him in the empty house to overcome the grief of being abandoned by the ones he had came to love.

So now old enough to fend for himself, he wandered the streets alone...Until he met her.  That beautiful she-cat, the way the light moved around her silky pelt and that gorgeous smile.  She was amazing, and he loved her with everything he had.  He finally found his missing piece, the one who filled that gap in his heart.

They traveled together, seeing the world and it's wonders.  He was happy, his life was finally peaceful...but not for long.  Everything has to end, doesn't it?  Sadly, it seems so.

He couldn't believe it, seeing her mangled body on the ground; seeing the blood seep from her injuries.  Was this what his father felt as he watched his mate die?  Surely.  Grief tore at his heart like claws as emotions ran through his body like a hurricane.  He was a mess, doomed to wander the earth until his end finally came

And he did, he kept walking; until his pads bled and his fur fell out.  He didn't care, keep walking.  He made it so far, until his time ran out; and his body shut down.

Now he was in this cave, it reminded him of his birth cave; so it wasn't a bad place to die.  Soon he would be with his family, his mate; wherever they went too.  His journeys were over, his walk was done.  

--------

Bam!  Done!  All on IPad!  DON'T MESS WITH THE MINI
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by *Smoke* on 20/06/13, 08:49 am

Umm, ok? You posted this out of no where xD I forgot about it...

Story #2: Last Breath

Running through the forest, with the wind running through her black fur, it felt as though Leaf was flying. The feeling was practically indescribable. The feeling of freedom was hard to explain. The feeling of peace was impossible to even get past her mind.

Her paws hit the ground in sets and she listening to their soft sound as she flew through the forest. She’d never been in here before, and she’d heard it was beautiful, but this was extremely past that. Beautiful was losing the race. The forest was green and life-giving, with trees standing as though they were holding cats in StarClan themselves. Wildlife grew here and there, adding onto the surreal feeling of it all. It was magnificent. Leaf never would’ve guessed this kind of place wouldn’t have something living in it.

Although, Leaf thought too soon. Paw-padding sounds came from behind her and she looked back. What she saw was surprising. Another cat, whom she had never seen before, was running after her with a unpeaceful look across his muzzle. Her heart beating faster, she pushed into the ground more making her speed up from the already fast pace she had been going.

Leaf’s green eyes widened as the tabby cat behind her gained. Her breathing started to become hard as the trees suddenly stopped and opened into a beautiful moors. The trees weren’t the only thing she noticed had stopped though; as she looked behind herself, the chaser stopped at the edge of the forest with an angered look on his face. The expression on his muzzle made Leaf laugh out joyfully. Apparently he couldn’t follow her here.

Slowing down a little bit, Leaf wondered why the tom didn’t continue pursuing her. She looked back once again and he was not there, and this worried her for some reason.She did a 360’, getting a look at everything in the moor. Perhaps it was dangerous to be here? No, that could not be it. It was great for prey, and there was plenty of it, so why would he care to not come here?

Turning around, Leaf jumped back a tail length from the sight in front of her. A tall tom with white socks stood before her. He seemed wise and older, but still young enough to be lithe and energetic. Wise beyond his age, perhaps.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” The tom asked in a slightly deep voice. It was the first voice she had heard in over 3 moons and it seemed threatening. She had never spoken aloud since she was a kit. Her father had taught her never to speak, even if spoken to. He would enforce his rule with violence and abuse. The thought of what he did to her made her slightly shiver.

Not knowing how to reply, Leaf shook her head with a helpless look on her face. The white-socked tom just sighed and sat down, seemingly to be less threatening.

“You look to be only 8 moons. Am I correct?” What did moons mean? She was not 8 days old. She knew that. Again, the tom sighed before stating, “I mean, you have lived to see 8 full moons.”

With a realisation look on her face, Leaf nodded her head slightly. She knew not to trust strangers, and this tom was exactly what that was.

The two stood there in silence, one not knowing what to say while the other could not speak at all. Leaf looked perpetually at the tall tom, wanting him to speak again. The tom just looked at her, as if to say what?

With a motion of waving her paw in front of her muzzle, the tom knew what she wanted him to do. “Oh, right. My name is Tallstar. May I ask your name, with you using something since you do not seem to speak?” Tallstar spoke. So that was his name. Odd, if you think about it.

Leaf looked around for a tree of some kind and found a small, but growing, oak tree that was barely 3 tail lengths tall, but it still had leaves on it. With a small smile to Tallstar before she got up, she went to the tree and jumped up, easily catching one in her jaws. When she landed she gave a small oof but nothing else.

The black she-cat trotted back in front of Tallstar and set the leaf in front of him. He looked down at it, trying to understand what she was saying.

“Your name is Green?” To this Leaf shook her head.

“Is it Life?” Shake.

“Is your name Oak?” Shake.

“Is it Leaf?” She nodded.

Tallstar smiled, seemingly proud of himself. “Nice to meet you Leaf. You do not seem like a threat to my clan,” At this word, Leaf got a blank look on her face as he continued, “So would you like to come to my camp?”

Still not knowing what a clan was, Leaf nodded her head once again, but this time it was slightly absentmindedly. With a flick of his tail, signalling for Leaf to follow him, Tallstar turned around and headed in a direction different from the one she was going not too long ago. The black she-cat hesitantly followed him. If he said they were going to a camp, there would be more cats like him. Strangers. She was not fond of that word. Her father always said that was what her mother was, not including all the other things he had called her that Leaf would not like to repeat. Her father was foul-mouthed, unlike her, who didn’t seem to have one at all.

The two walked alongside each other in silence for a few minutes before they came across a hollow. The hollow had around 5 dens on first glance and Leaf found it to be beautiful. It took her breath away, and if she couldn’t already, she wouldn’t have been able to speak. Her green eyes stretched farther than normal and Tallstar chuckled at her expression.

“Welcome to WindClan, Leaf,” Tallstar said.





It had been 3 days since Leaf had been introduced to the clan life, and she loved every second of the past few suns with all her heart. The clans way of life had been explained to her by her new friends, Onewhisker and Morningflower. They’d been telling her of all the great legends, and some of the more recent things. The first thing they had told her, was how the clans came to be. She could still say every word in her mind.

Long ago, the forest was wild and untamed.
The cats who lived there were bound by no laws.
They fought constantly, and many cats died.
The spirits of their ancestors spoke and the message was clear.
Unite, or die.
Thus began the clans of cats.
ThunderClan~ Fierce and brave.
WindClan~ Swift and loyal.
RiverClan~ Clever and strong.
ShadowClan~ Wily and proud.




As her new friends had told it, Leaf had savored every word of it. She found it fascinating, completely thrilling to her mind.

Leaf snapped out of her thoughts as Tallstar padded up to her. She greeted him with a nod of her head and he did the same while saying, “Leaf, you have learned the ways of our life. Would you like to join us as a warrior?”

Leaf’s jaw slightly dropped and surprise flashed across her face. The shock turned into pure happiness as she nodded her head profusely. Tallstar chuckled as he signaled for her to follow him.

The white-socked tom walked over to the Tallrock, where Leaf had learned he held clan meetings. When she’d found he was the leader, she hadn’t been very surprised. He seemed like the kind of tom destined to lead.

“All cats gather beneath the Tallrock for a clan meeting.” Tallstar’s voice rang out in the hollow and the cats of WindClan did as told. Onewhisker and Goldenflower smiled over at Leaf and she returned it. She is beyond happy right now.

“I, Tallstar, leader of WindClan, call upon my warrior ancestor to look down upon this she-cat. She is ready to learn the ways of your noble code, and I commend her as a warrior in her turn.

“Leaf, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your clan, even at the cost of your life?” Tallstar looked down at Leaf as she nodded her head, signifying ‘yes’.

“Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Leaf, from this moment on you will be known as Leafwhisper. StarClan honors your independence and kindness and we welcome you as a full warrior of WindClan,” Tallstar looked down at Leaf- no Leafwhisper and jumped to her level, resting his head on hers. In return, Leafwhisper licked the leader’s shoulder respectfully.

The clan called out her new name and she glowed with pride. With her new identity, she felt practically invincible. It was a sight to see a forest clan except a loner into their ranks with no disagreements.

Suddenly, a yowl from the entrance interrupted her happiness. Her head snapped to see Tornear running inside the camp with blood matted in his fur. Tornear had been on duty, on a patrol with another cat going by the ShadowClan border.

“ShadowClan is attacking!” He called out before he fell, passing out in front of his entire clan. Like Tornear had warned, ShadowClan warriors spilled in from every corner. One attacked Leafwhisper and pulled her into the forest.

The black she-cat whirled around and tackled the tom who had pulled her away from her beloved clan. She struck him across the face with unsheathed claws. The large grey tom yowled in pain and retaliated by flipping the two over and aiming a bite for Leafwhisper’s neck. She moved her throat at just the last second and the grey tom bit the ground. He shrieked in pain that must’ve flashed across his muzzle and he went back for more. And he would’ve gotten it if a deep voiced tom didn’t appear from the darkness and spoken.

“Boulder, leave her alive,” The tom said to what she now knew was Boulder. Boulder spat, his saliva barely missing Leafwhisper’s body. She hissed at him in annoyance.

“Take her back to camp,” The tom said.

“B-but Brokenstar!” Boulder said, exasperated as Brokenstar glared at him.

“Do it now Boulder!” At this the before tom flattened his ears and picked up a fidgeting Leafwhisper by her scruff. She growled and kicked but the tom wouldn’t let go. She struck him across the chest and he growled, throwing the black she-cat against a tree. Her head hit it first and she was quickly knocked out.


Mess with Smoke and you'll find the flame behind it >;)
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by Mini~ on 20/06/13, 08:55 am

Smokey, the theme was DEATH e.e

Meh, I still need to add a couple things to mine though and proofread it xD
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by *Smoke* on 20/06/13, 08:57 am

I'm not done with mine though xD
She has to live a little before death.
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by *Smoke* on 20/06/13, 08:58 am

I lost my muse for it anyway.
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by Mini~ on 20/06/13, 08:59 am

e.e well then

YOU BROUGHT OUT MINI'S COMPETITIVE SIDE, PREPARE FOR DEATH!
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by *Smoke* on 20/06/13, 09:02 am

XD You wanna go there? Really?
I'MA FUCKING POUND YOU INTO THE GROUND!
:3
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by Mini~ on 20/06/13, 09:05 am

BRING IT MOTHERFUCKA, I'MA GO ALL GANGSTA ON YA


^_^ How's the weather?
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Re: Mod Competition

Post by *Smoke* on 20/06/13, 09:07 am

OH JUST YOU WAIT! I'LL THROW MY STORY UP YOUR ASS SO FAR YOU'LL BE CHOKING ON PAPER!

Oh, it's great here. Just rained a bit. Did you see Superman?
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Re: Mod Competition

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